Begin Again...

I remember cursing you,
I remember cursing your name.
In the middle of the night.
Sometimes at 2am.
And when I stumbled through
This tiring day,
I finally saw things your way.
I know it's not easy.
Not for you and me.
I don't know whether you lost a friend,
But I certainly did.
Some times when I think back,
I remember acting like a little kid.
But like a wise person told me,
Keep the memories, forget the person.
Hard to do that at times.
But I'm learning.
Don't expect me to talk to you now
Or even look in your direction
If our paths do cross.
Because I'm done walking that path.
I'm still learning how to breathe again.
They said, "Never blame a new love
for things an old one did,"
And believe me, I try not to.
But you keep popping into my head,
When I least expect it.
Your smile haunts me wherever I'm at.
And when he asks me, "What are you
thinking now?"
I fake a smile and say, "Nothing special."
I remember you, I know you know,
Like the back of my hand.
And though I accept nothing ever
Goes back to being what it was before,
Sometimes I wish you'd come back at my door.
I know you've moved on,
Deep down, I never waited...
I don't even remember half of that night
When I wished you all the happiness in the world.
But I remember crying myself to sleep,
Waking up stronger and then I did remember,
I've done exactly to someone else,
What you've done to me.
In this vicious cycle of love,
There's forever someone we take for granted.
Now, you are a fond memory to me.
And I'm learning to breathe easy.
I smile when your name comes up,
and I am sure I'll smile when I see you.
Because life did teach me in the end,
Never to give up on love.
It was always the people to blame.
And I am so damn sure now,
I am going to begin again....