Musings: A Cat Person's Rant
When the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste...
Could it be worse?
- Fix You, Coldplay
Pippo's 1st Week with Us Pic Courtesy: Indrani Brahma |
"You're a cat person."
Whenever I heard this phrase before, I used to smile. Sometimes, I would get adamant in my fierce defense for our feline friends. Pippo was such a cute little thing when he first came to us. And my family and I tried to give him the best life we possibly could. One which you can see for yourself here.
Yet...it was not enough. We live on the first floor and hence letting the cat out of the house, wasn't much of an option for us. But in last two months, Pippo grew into his extremely fierce and very grownupish self....Sure, he had his moments of cuteness...
In July, Pippo posing for me Pic Courtesy: Indrani Brahma |
But he also has grown of capable of doing this, to those who love him best:
My Poor Foot, After Pippo's Attack |
I was the first person to have received this blow from Pippo...but I never thought he'd turn on my mother... *sighs* She's the one who tends to him, day in and day out. I cannot believe that Pippo would attack my mother. Twice! On two consecutive days...
Pippo was the one person, for whom I've run barefoot to the streets trying to make him come home. It was for him that I scaled the wall (wearing my high heeled sandals), and a wall that was filled with moss. The landing ground wasn't safe - and I had to walk all the way home after that.
He was the one person who was allowed to bite me and scratch me, and I would still love him and pet him, after he'd calmed down. But now - the real truth - is coming home to albeit reluctantly.
Cats are ungrateful. A quote I'd read, now keeps haunting my mind, "The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat." - Ogden Nash
We finally came to a decision. Cats are impossible to keep at home forever...they need to be let out. So we let him out...he came back within ten minutes. But with a good mind to attack all of us! So we let him go again...
He's been out side all afternoon, and evening. When I came home, I went in search for him with a torch light. I found him, sitting behind our building. He greeted me with a "meow"...but eyed the umbrella I was carrying, with suspicion. (We've all developed the habit of carrying an umbrella because that's the only thing Pippo is scared of...just wave it at him, and he calms down)...
I stood there talking to him. Asking him to come home...my neighbor must have thought I've gone crazy, and I probably am, for venting my feelings out like this on the blog. But I really don't know any other way to deal with this...
I told Pippo about the time he was a kitten and I'd found him. I reminded him of all the days I'd run back home from college, because I needed to play with him a little. I pleaded him to come back home, but the sat there, in all his white and brown patched glory, blinking at the torch light. I was hurt. But I couldn't afford to show that to this cat. (Yes, now Pippo has become 'the cat I used to have'.)
"Fine. Don't come home," I told him finally, "I'm leaving."
I don't have access to a terrace. If I did, I would've gone there straight. In stead, I sat on our front steps and bawled my eyes out. Till some idiot spied me there - and I had to flee upstairs to our flat.
"Pippo k dekhte peli?" Did you see Pippo? My mother asked me as soon as I got home.
"Hyan." Yes, I replied. I locked myself in the washroom, and washed my face thoroughly, so no one in the family realizes how truly heart broken I am at the moment.
"Bari ashte chaiche na aar... dhurr, jahanoom'e jaak o." He doesn't want to come back home...let him go to Hell.
Then I locked myself in my room, began to write this rant on my blog, in between gulping down a steaming mug of tea. I don't know how many more mugs of tea I'll be needing, just to get through tonight.
Till Pippo comes back home or disappears for good, I feel like Trishanku....I'm neither here, nor there. Like the sage, caught between two worlds.
Posing for the Camera Pic Courtesy: Indrani Brahma |
The only comforting thought that comes to my mind at the moment is,
If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back, it was always yours.
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.
Well, I know it doesn't mean much to you, but I really love you Pippo. If you love mummy, even a quarter of how much we love you - come back home...
P.S. - I know all dog lovers out there would love to point out that if I had a dog called Pippo as a pet, this would've never happened. Look, I agree. But please don't tell me that tonight.