Musings: An Idiot's Guide To Being Best Friends With An Introvert

1. Respect their personal space.

They maybe your favourite person in the world and they might love you too. But if they don’t make the first move to hug you – don’t hug them. If you hug them when they are not feeling up to it, you’ll just find yourself wondering if you did something wrong. Maybe you did. But chances are they just need to find their inner calm before they are ready fully accept and embrace you. This could be the 20^th time they are meeting you or the very first one.

2. Don't bug them.

If they are in a bad mood, bugging them about what is bothering them is not going to help you. They’ll shut off even more and might find your incessant questioning so irksome, that they could decide to cut you off from their lives completely. If you care about the introvert in your life, a word of advice: when they tell you to back off, respect it.

3. Hibernation is a thing.

Yes, there are days when you won’t hear from them. It would be like they never existed. They are not sad or angry with the world. They just need time to recharge their batteries. So they go into hibernation. Real life prevents me from doing that. But when I was college, my friends made me promise I would tell them before I went off into hibernation. I retrospect that helped all of us.

4. They find certain people overwhelming.

Introverts cannot handle being around all kinds of people, all the time. Some people are naturally overwhelming and staying with them for a longer period of time, tires the introverts out. They are, therefore, very choosy about who they let into their life. Even then, some people around them might be more naturally draining than others. So don’t be surprised if they don’t sound too enthusiastic about your plans to pull all-nighters or movie marathons!

5. They need to gather strength to go party.

While most people get naturally excited about going to parties and socializing, the introvert’s biggest fear is being let loose into a room full of strangers. They need advance notice for parties so that they can mentally prepare themselves to go to party. An introvert will almost never accept a last minute invitation to a party.

6. They are very particular about who they let into their life.

An introvert is naturally choosy about who gets to be a part of their life. However, they can easily fool you into believing you know everything about them...yet what you might know about the introvert is just the tip of the iceberg.

7. No doesn't mean try again tomorrow.

You might be very excited about doing something you share that with your introvert friend. They smile and gently refuse to go with you. That’s not an invitation to ask them again later until they give in and say yes. Chances are they’ll just get irritated and subtly drift away from you. A word of advice: don’t try again tomorrow.

8. They like a few close people as opposed to a loud party.

On the other hand if you invite an introvert to spend quality time with a few good souls, they can turn out to be the life of the party. They are patient listeners and with them, you can trust that your secrets are forever safe.

9. There are extroverted introverts too.

And these are rare but they do exist. Their interest in the party might come as quickly as they go. They love making friends, but at the same time might feel overwhelmed if they are forced to spend too much time with them. Life is more difficult for them as they always struggle to find balance. You might have at least one extroverted introvert as your friend: the one that constantly takes you for a ride. Bear with them. They are as confused by their behaviour as you are!

10. They love cancelled plans and staying in secretly.

Friday nights for introverts might mean curling up with a good book, watching TV shows or spending quality time with their pets! If you call them up to cancel plans at the last minute they’re probably secretly celebrating the fact they don’t have to make an effort and go out. Cancelled plans are what introverts sometimes draw their energy from.

11. But they are also naturally calm people to be around. 

If you feel anxious or agitate, some introverts might be the people for you to be around. They have naturally calm natures and their presence would help your flustered soul. So consider yourself very lucky if your introvert friend is around to help you feel better when you’re having a particularly bad day!