Poem: Crumble

It always begins with a hello,

And not being able to turn down the temptation to reply.

It always begins with conversations,

The sweet nothings when time seems to standstill.

Until reality seeps in.

Every good morning gets replaced with

‘I am running late for work’,

And every goodnight seems like a forced duty.

And in between the stray text messages

The calls that used to last hours

Turning into fleeting nanoseconds,

We realize this is the beginning of the end.

Only we wish this wasn’t happening again.

And again, and again, and again.

Because I’m tired of the pretty little lies,

I’m tried of letting people in.

For people keep leaving, with only the

Trails of dust and destruction

As the stamps to remember them by.

The only marks human beings leave on each other

Are scars. And sometimes, sometimes they run too deep.

You can try your hardest but once you’re hurt,

You really don’t want to let anyone in.

For it always starts the same way.

Every “why can’t you understand?”

“Why do you need to be such a child?”

“Can you stop being so freaking needy?”

“I have five minutes. We can talk now.”

“What do you mean you’re busy? Why can’t

You pause what you’re doing?”

“I have to get up early to get to work!”

I could list all the excuses I’ve ever heard,

And I am afraid I’d run out of space.

But this how the crumble begins.

You just have to sit and wonder if the high

Is really ever worth the pain?

I’m so tired. I’m so tired.

Of history repeating itself.

And yet – I don’t know really know

How to give up hope,

How to give up on people,

Because I still see the best in people

Because that’s what my best friend taught me.

Because when our friendships were in trouble,

They didn’t give up. They didn’t give up on me.

We fight. We scream. We break.

But we come back together again, stronger than ever.

However they taught me one really important thing too.

It’s good to fight for someone who loves you.

It’s futile to fight for someone to love you.

And as I look back and try to make sense of the world,

Removing the rose tinted glasses,

I finally understand the difference.

It always begins the same way.

It always ends the same way too.